Spring Bee in the Air

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Ah, the glory of spring! With my honeybees humming and temperatures balmy, life was just a bowl of cherries. Or at least one would think so. The fact is, in April, I was as neurotic as a first-time Mom! A good beekeeper, I was told, should check on their hives at least once a month. Because it seemed impossible to me that the bees could thrive without my intervention, I visited them every day, oftentimes three or more.  Again like a new mom, I wanted to witness every waking and sleeping moment. “Leave them alone.” Jimmy would remind me. “Their mother is Nature, not you.” But in my defense, it was like watching tiny gossamer winged fairies, shimmering in the sunlight as they crafted  precious works of art. Who could resist? I continued my daily visits, but restricted myself to peering through the looking glass, unless I would see that the feed-dish was nearing empty. Delighted to have a purpose, I would conjure up a batch of sugar syrup, slip into my biohazard gear, and head back to the hive.

From the very beginning I ached for reasons to pop the lid and stick my fingers in the pie. It was the same urge that had overwhelmed me when I visited The Louvre in Paris France long ago as a college student. There had been a serene Monet painting displayed on the wall, and I had been drawn to touch it. I was consumed by this overpowering need to get close to the source and experience the transfer of energy. That particular movement however, got me booted out of the museum. I was viewed as a vandal with no respect for the artist by the indignant Parisian gendarme. I suppose from his narrow minded perspective, I was.

But now, there was no one to misconstrue my intentions or kick me out of my own apiary. I had open access to my bees and I was thrilled to be their guardian. Upon raising the lid and removing some bars I would find the feeder nearly dry, with two or three thirsty workers sucking up the last remaining drops of sweetness. They never seemed disturbed by my presence, it was more like “where have you been?” As I traded the nearly dry tub for a freshly filled one, I noted their gratitude as many took an immediate work-break to line up along the cup’s edges like a tiny team of horses drinking from a trough. Some would nearly stand on their heads to reach the artificial nectar while others gingerly lit on the floating popsicle sticks that served as mini life-rafts in case they accidentally fell into the sticky liquid.

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May, continued to highlight the greening landscape. Milkweed and blackberry blossoms were forming in clusters, sunflower and thistle plants were spiking leaves, wildflowers were taking root, and afternoon temperatures climbed into the seventies. The frequent hive visits had increased my observation skills a hundred fold over, which proved very beneficial to my documentation. We had been instructed in class to thoroughly appraise our situation with regards to day, time, weather, hive conditions, action taken, every time we made a sojourn. This notebook would become the record of my successes and failures and help me make better or equally as good decisions in the future. Life in and out of the hive buzzed like a chainsaw in May and my written specifics were clinically detailed. Being a rookie, this was mere fun, I was yet to appreciate it’s true value. My bee population was on the rise and it was with the wide eyes of a child that I would scribble and breathe in the intoxicating, pungent smell of uncapped honey.

By June, I had figured out the best time of day for observation. Forager bees work all day long, beginning their flights early in the morning and continuing past dusk. I discovered that by 10 am, the sun was so aligned with the hive as to shed no glare on the plexiglass. I would sit with my magnifying glass for 30 minutes or more, bewitched by the precise workings of the hive’s internal organs. When an incoming forager reunited with the roiling core, her target was directed through the art of waggle dancing, the smell of pheromones, and intimate touching of antennae by her co-workers. Hurriedly yet with precision, she would scuttle over cells and other busy bees (I believe, stepping with intention on shiftless drones) to efficiently make her deposits. Once her mission had been accomplished, and without dallying, she’d sail off for another load. Spying with the magnifier exposed every hairy bit of pollen on her legs and every determined movement of her body. The hive activity reminded me of the chaos of a circus. There was hustle, bustle and what could have been mistaken for confusion, but in reality, was co-ordination, balance and perfection of performance.

The highlight of these visits though, without a doubt, was Rosie. My observation time never felt completely successful without a glimpse of my queen. I had been warned over and over to not assume she was alive just because she had been spotted a week ago. Queens die: some naturally, some by usurpation and some simply by accident. A mentor in class admitted that once, while checking her hive, she unknowingly dropped the queen and stepped on her. If the queen dies, she must be immediately replaced. So on these warm June days, it was as though Rosie understood my compulsion, for more often than not, she and her court would suddenly appear from between two bee-saturated combs and totter right in front of my augmented eyes. My breath always caught at the sight of her. She would usually be on display for a only a few seconds and then disappear within the ever growing cluster. Sometimes, if I was very lucky, she would remerge as if to say, “Did you see me? I’m giving you a second chance.” And then, just as quickly as she had materialized, she would be swallowed up by the mass of her children.

In what felt like a heartbeat, chilly spring had turned into sultry summer and twenty-seven empty hive bars had morphed into eight fully formed combs of pollen, nectar, honey and brood. My box-o-bees had become a family, while the landscape had changed from gray to green; from vacant to life filled. Shuttering-up the observation window, I would reflect on saucy little Rosie. To her eye, I must have looked like a cyclops with my hand held monocle and nose pressed up against the glass. But instead of cringing at the sight of me, she would reorient her wings as if she were bestowing the Royal Wave to an adoring subject. Her presence was regal, but her attitude wasn’t . “Relax,” I could almost hear her say, “You see that I’m here…. Now leave us alone!”

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Let there Bee life.

IMG_1406I had waited over six months for these fragile winged, hairy legged, bug-eyed fur balls no bigger than the joint of a finger, to make their appearance into my life. Now, by strict order and reminder from Jimmy, WAM, my class instructors and every book I had read, I needed to step back and let them percolate. There was to be no peeking through the looking glass, no raising the roof, no removal of bars for three days. Seriously? Three days! 72 hours! 4320 minutes! This seemed impossible, but I understood that this was the most critical time of all. In the next three days, the future of the entire colony rested on the ability of these emigrants to form a bond, accept this empty box and the surrounding flora and fauna as home and liberate their new queen. There was a chance that they would hate her and leave her to starve in her cell. Or they could release her and smite her the moment she walked free. A third negative possibility was that they would abscond with her and swarm to a more desirable location. So here I was, once again playing the waiting game.

Being the warm, sunny month of April with the temperatures in the low sixties, I felt encouraged that the weather was on my side. I reassessed the environment and breathed a little easier viewing the flowering tulip trees, sprouting dandelions, and tiny-leaf laden blackberry bushes. I had planted hundreds of sunflower and vegetable seeds to promote pollination, but found I was losing the battle to the ever presence of sneaky grey squirrels who were just as intent on digging up the seeds as I was planting them. I had also added a small bird bath near the hive entrance to serve as a closer watering hole. I stewed over the activity or lack there of, that was hidden behind closed hive doors and twiddled my thumbs.

By day four I was chomping at the bit but also scared as hell. I had requested Jimmy’s presence so that I would have a shoulder to cry on if things were bleak. We approached the quiet hive that showed no signs of life. I looked at Jimmy with puppy dog eyes and said, “I think they left. I don’t see one single bee.”  My heart was breaking.

“Don’t be discouraged,” he countered. “Just because you can’t see anything doesn’t mean there is nothing going on. Take a deep breath and open the lid.”

I exhaled the swallow of air I had been holding, gulped another and lifted. Nothing. Not one honeybee moseying along the inside cover. My pained eyes pleaded with Jimmy’s.

“Keep going,” he encouraged. “This part can be bee-free. Remove the bars on either side of Rosie’s cage and let’s see if she’s there.” Cautiously removing the two adjacent bars, I perceived a low-pitched hum. Buoyed by the sound, I raised Rosie’s bar slowly and found the cage empty. My eyes grew to the size of frisbees as I turned to Jimmy and exclaimed, “She’s gone!”

“That’s good!,” he reminded me while smiling. “Can you hear the bees? They’re in there. Now we have to find Rosie and make sure she’s alive.”

I tentatively continued my excavation. Beginning at the far end of the hive, I removed one empty bar after another. With each withdrawal, the humming and my confidence grew. But we were by no means out of the woods. Though a good sign, buzzing bees were of little value without the presence of a queen. I was mid-hive before I had my first face-to-face encounter. Hanging from the next bar were hundreds of gold festooning honeybees. They held tightly onto each others legs like acrobats on a trapeze, creating a living, woven chain. At the top, attached to the wood apex, was an inch or so of pure white, newly created comb. Each hexagonal cell was perfectly shaped and replicated. I lightly lifted the swaying bees and  grinned at Jimmy.

“Excellent,” he said. “But I don’t see Rosie.”  I calmly moved this bar to the back and kept digging. Each consecutive bar held more waggle-dancing bees and more glossy comb, but no queen. Running out of bars, I raised the next one and squinted. Immediately my eyes were drawn to a shimmying blue dot. There she was, waddling around her mini-kingdom, encircled by her entourage, so intent on her toil that she was oblivious to my intrusion.

“EUREKA!” I shouted.

“Great,” he said, “but we’re not home free yet.  We have to know whether or not she is laying. If there’re no eggs, the colony will crash.” Prudently I off-handed the frame, knowing his experienced eyes could detect far more detail than mine. He held the bar up to the sunlight while I bit my bottom lip and fretted that there would be no eggs. When his face lit up, mine exploded. “There!” he confirmed. “And over there! See them?” He lowered the frame to my eye level and pointed with his index finger to what appeared to me to be empty cells. “Look carefully, they are like tiny pieces of white rice, one per cell, standing up on end. And here, see all these little white curlycues?  They’re larvae!”

“I see them,” I squealed, nearly knocking the bar from his hand. “Yes yes, I SEE them! Now let’s get out of here!” And with a new found sense of urgency, I hurriedly replaced all of the bars and closed up the hive so that Rosie and her workers could resume their tasks.

Once Jimmy had gone, my Rocky Mountain high was overshadowed by a skosh of guilt. For you see, I had lied. I had never actually seen the damn eggs. I had really wanted to, but truth was, I hadn’t. And then as quickly as it had set in, the guilt began to recede with the memory of the pearly white larvae that had been curled up like croissants. And not just one, the comb had been polk-a-dotted with them.

So even though I had seen no eggs that day, I had witnessed a miracle. In a mere three days, Rosie had gone from being a captive queen to the reigning matriarch of a mushrooming community. And in the spring of 2014, a new circle of life had burst forth… right in my own backyard.

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Bee Careful

WOW…I had bees! I gently placed the mini wooden crate filled with gold in the boot of my car. It was secured snuggly enough so that the box would not bounce around if I hit a bump or stopped abruptly, but not so locked-down as to risk smothering my charges before we ever reached home. The bees were nervous. So was I.

It had been prearranged that my mentor Jimmy, (an energetic young Asian man from my bee support group who maintained five top bar hives) would show up at 4:30 to aid with the installation of my bees. I had been instructed in class, educated by books and visually  coached via WAM’s videos on the proper installation technique, however no amount of vicarious knowledge competes with experience so I was of an easier-mind that Jimmy would be present. Peter Rabbit couldn’t have been more anxious concerning the proximity of Mr. McGregor than I while waiting, gathering my supplies and checking my new cedar hive for squatter ants, nesting spiders or any other varmint. I water misted the bees to help satiate their thirst. Being cooped up for days had left them fatigued and dehydrated.

When Jimmy’s Nissan pulled up, I recognized that I was excited, relieved and petrified all at the same time. It was show time. Wearing my hooded jacket, gloves and boots, I greeted him in the driveway, chagrined by the fact that he was clad in business casual.

“Jimmy,” I asked nervously, Where’s your gear? Would you like to borrow a veil and gloves? I have extras.”

“No thanks,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I seldom wear protection when I go into my hives. (What a Pro!) And besides, you’re doing all the work, I’m just watching.”

My throat went dry. It wasn’t that I was having buyers remorse or a panic attack over a butt-load of stinging insects, it was that I was afraid to be singularly responsible. I had  anticipated being the sous-chef, not the chief cook. This was literally “do or die.” If I didn’t do it right, THEY  would die. The bees would either be crushed or immediately fly away leaving Rosie trapped and dangling in her tiny prison. Reading the terror on my face, Jimmy  smiled reassuringly while patting my shoulder, “You can do it. You have waited months or this moment, I’m here for you, but you’re in charge!”

So I resignedly pulled up my big girl pants and took the lead. Approaching the hive with caution, I set the box on a tree stump and freed Rosie’s cage. There she was, wearing a wee blue dot on her back to identify her as the queen she was. I wound a wire around her cage and hung her in the middle of an empty bar 1/3 of the way down the hive. She looked isolated and lonely, but I knew that if all went well, the other bees would accept her and her attendants would have her released in a day or two.

It was now or never. With a flat head screw driver, I pried off the lid, removed the syrup can and in one swift movement, turned the crate with 10,000 bees upside down and thumped it hard catapulting them from their confinement into the bare bottom of the hive. They pummeled one another as they fell. Many refused to leave the security of their cell, so I thumped them again. I knew at this point that they needed to be stirred like spaghetti sauce to keep them from asphyxiating one another. As I gently ladled them side to side with my hive tool, they began filling the bottom board and racing up the interior sides of the hive looking like Teddy Roosevelt’s rough riders charging San Juan hill. Wasting no time, I reset the naked top bars, being careful not to squash any deserters and closed the hinged roof. There were a few stragglers clinging to the interior of the crate, so I sat it near the entrance hole, praying the dawdlers would figure out the location of their new home and enter of their own volition.

Slumping with relief, I heaved a satisfied sigh and smiled at Jimmy. “YOU DID IT!,”  he said as a big cocky-ass grin spread across his face. “You did a great job and you did it all by yourself.”  And while pumping my hand in a felicitous manner he added, “Congratulations! You just graduated and are now OFFICIALLY a Bee Keeper!”

IMG_1418Rosie’s first view of her new castle.

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They BEE Here!

It was at the 24th X on the calendar, two doors down from the big red circle that the call came. They weren’t coming. My bees weren’t coming was all that I heard, when in fact the message was that they were delayed. Seems that a combination of unusually cool temperatures and multiple storms in Georgia had backlogged delivery. Their arrival had been postponed by two nebulous weeks with actual confirmation date pending. I circled a new number on the calendar which carried me over to the next page and continued to wait. When the second delay call came, I began to panic. It would now be mid May before my vagabonds would make their appearance. A two to three week push back could prove crucial to the new homesteaders who would arrive tired and weak, with no foundation or food reserves. The first nectar flow was already in progress with cherry, pear and dogwood trees surging with new life. Every waiting day was agony as I watched the landscape greening up, knowing my bees were missing it all.

The morning of  “D” day, I was up with the sun. Those of us who had ordered packages were to meet the truck in a parking lot in Chantilly, between eight and nine am. With GPS programed and skipping breakfast, I ardently ventured out. The sun was making every effort to warm the gray, overcast sky as I anxiously bucked traffic.  Following the navigation system to the letter, I pulled into the lot at 7:45. People were already sprinkled around, some waiting in their cars, others gabbing amiably as a flatbed began unloading hundreds of boxes.  “They’re here,” I declared to myself, “My honeybees and Rosie are finally here.” I gazed at the growing stockpiles, wondering which one she was in. Donning a pair of garden gloves, I joined the loitering ranks.

It was organized chaos. Waist-high piles of boot-sized boxes were banded together and stacked haphazardly on the asphalt. Volunteers were directing the crowd with conflicting commands. Some cranky white haired man in overalls seemed to be in charge, although that was certainly open for debate. He yelled out names while arguing with various recipients. “No,” he barked, “says here you only get two packages.”  “They’ll be fine, just take the box.”  “Keep unloading, I don’t have all day.” I stood back, a little freaked out and observed as he fumbled with paperwork and chicken-scratched his way through names and orders. He finally called me. “Vienna James, you here?”

Me and my smily face proceeded gingerly to the head of the line. “Yes,”  I confirmed, “That’s me!”

I rendered my open arms and heart to the pot of gold that was about to be benevolently bestowed on me. But in fact what happened, was that he literally tossed me the box, crossed my name off the list and said “here ya go.”

Refusing to be discouraged, I cradled my babies and grinned at him, “Thank you, I’m so excited! It’s Rosie, I’ve already named my queen Rosie and here she is.” I held up the small crate I had just received like Mufasa presenting Simba in The Lion King. And thinking this gesture might soften his gruff exterior and charm him, I awaited his reply.

“Rosie huh? You’ll be going through Rosie, Rosalind, Rosalita and Rosebud before the year is out.” And then dismissing me, he snapped,  “Thomas Simpson!”

I stepped back a few paces, peering down at my precious cargo and refused to stop smiling. Sadly, there were a few dead bees laying on the floor and some that were wandering around dazed as if they were suffering from a hang over, but the majority were festooned together in the center, buzzing nervously around the queen cage. They had been traveling upwards of 48 hours, sequestered with only the company of a pin-pricked syrup can. I lowered my voice and spoke directly to my queen. “That crabby old man doesn’t believe in us Rosie. He thinks you will die or because of my inexperience, I will accidentally kill you. But he’s wrong. We’re a team. You, me, the workers and even the deadbeat drones.  Ok, we may be starting out behind the eight ball, but nobody could want to succeed more than us. You and me Rosie… Let’s go home.”

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I Bee Waitin

I never missed a class. No matter what the weather conditions or how appalled I was to drive. I lapped up information like a puppy drinking from a puddle. I ignored the fact that I appeared to be the only student in attendance that was “top-bar driven” and focused on the honey bees. I learned about the incredibly short life cycle of drone and worker bees. Drones are the male freeloaders. Their sole purpose is to cruise for chicks, (mate with a virgin queen) and then sponge off the female worker bees who produce wax, build combs, tend to the nursery and forage for food to feed the entire colony. Both drones and workers mature in days and die within weeks. The Queen however is special. Once she emerges, she takes two or three mating flights with those lazy hound dogs that are just hanging out, and when successful, has the ability to lay a million eggs. If hive conditions are right and her attendants vigilant, Her Majesty can live for several years. That is of course, unless a greedy beekeeper decides she needs to die and be replaced by a more prolific layer, thus increasing the probability of a larger honey harvest. I dismissed this barbaric notion immediately. Rosie would always be my queen. For you see, in my minds eye, she already had a name. And even though my friend thought this name totally plebeian, I disagreed. Rosie would be a working queen, not a monarchial figurehead.

Through the following weeks, my education continued. I learned about biology, broods, dearths, diseases, mites, moths and seasonal blossoms that affected pollen and nectar gathering. I learned about supplemental feeding, swarming and robbing. And as we discussed the advantages and disadvantages of Italian honey bees over Russians or Carniolans, I learned that beekeepers are an extremely pontifical group with very distinct  opinions and are not one bit shy about sharing them.

My class notes were becoming a novella when the subject turned to bee acquisition: “Nucs” versus “Packages.” A nuc is a miniature colony consisting of four or five frames with existing comb, brood and a laying queen. A package on the other hand is basically a box-o-bees. As “newbees” with no experience, we were encouraged to order nucs for our virgin hives because they were already established and would take an immediate foothold. Packages were discouraged because they are simply 3 lbs. of bees that have been syphoned into a small wooden crate and shipped north from a southern state. A queen bee is included in the box, but isolated in her own encasement, with no guarantee that she will lay. Of course, there were pros and cons to both. A nuc brought forth an immediate mini hive, but also might transport disease, laying dormant in the frames. A package on the other hand was just a bunch of orphans that had barely been introduced to one another, with an unfamiliar queen dangling in her jail cell.

I pondered the situation: My new hive was empty. It held no frames with foundation, no combs filled with brood, honey or pollen and no queen already accepted by her peers.  Everything pointed to the wisdom of  a nuc. So…. I ordered a package. The immigrants and I would become proficient and grow together.  We would all be starting from scratch, stumbling along trying to figure things out, but the honeybees were products of nature and  would come (I felt confident) equipped with internal knowhow and flawless survival instincts.

It was now end of March, classes were finished and the only thing left to do was wait. I second guessed myself several times during this waiting period and had anyone informed me that the success rate for a new package was only 20%, I’m sure that I would have made a different choice. But I didn’t know this at the time. In March, I only knew that I had a box-o-bees being delivered from the warm state of Georgia to the chilly state of Virginia in late April. And as a new mother awaits the birth of her child, I began anxiously marking the days off the calendar.

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Newbee School

With all of the bee paraphernalia safely ensconced in the lower level of my house, the next assignment was to contact my local Beekeepers Association.  I found them warm and welcoming. They encouraged me to enroll in their basic beekeeping course, which (lucky for me) had one vacancy remaining. With winter fast approaching, I concurred that this was not only a marvelous idea from an educational perspective, but an excellent way to curb my appetite for immediate gratification. The course consisted of eight, two hour classes once a week. I cringed at the $100 enrollment fee as I had already incurred over $600 worth of charges, but longed for a relationship with a thriving bee community as opposed to mere graphics and printed words. “Mentors,” I salivated, “card-carrying members with first hand experience to gently guide my naiveté towards knowledge and understanding.” Everything was coming up roses.

Upon arriving twenty minutes early for my first class, I could barely contain my enthusiasm. I gushed at the two instructors that were prepping the classroom and prattled on and on euphorically over my  bon chance to become a new bee keeper. Like a nerdy brown-noser, I offered to pass out materials, set up additional chairs and adjust the projection screen. I nabbed a seat three inches from the teacher’s nose and babbled excitedly to anyone within ear shot about my shiny new top-bar hive equipment that was  patiently waiting for spring assembly.

“Oh,” one of the instructors interrupted, “you don’t want to do that.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, and with mouth ajar, humbly asked,”Huh?”

“Top-bar hiving is not for beginners,” she stated dogmatically . “I suggest you send everything back and repurchase Langstroth materials. You will learn nothing about Top-bar hiving in these classes.”

I was stunned into silence. Was she really suggesting that I box everything up and start from scratch? The moon began to eclipse the sun. I could feel the exhilaration seep from me like the helium from a week old balloon.

“What IS a top-bar hive,” a classmate innocently inquired.

“Oh, it’s just a long box with a lid that looks like a coffin,” the pedagogue said with a shrug. “It’s a very haphazard, inefficient way to manage bees.”

Coffin? Haphazard? Inefficient?  I respected that these instructors were far more experienced than me, but I instinctively took offense. “Now wait a minute,” I heard my kiss-ass-turned-cranky self say as I rose to my feet “Those are very harsh statements. I did a lot of research before I made my decision. I suppose the hive does resemble a casket, although I never thought about that until this very minute, but mostly, it allows the bees to design and create their own environment without constant conventional manipulation.” I realized that I had probably said too much, so semi embarrassed, I sat back down and eyed the nearest exit.

“Well,” conceded teacher #2, we really don’t know much about it. “In these classes you will be learning bee anatomy, biology, and physiology as well as hive management, but for Langstroth hives only.”

The sun slowly moved from behind the moon’s shadow, presenting a glimmer of light. “So that’s  it,” I reckoned, “it’s not that these instructors are anti top-bar hiving, they are simply unenlightened. They were taught traditionally and will continue to do so. They  have no intention of entertaining the idea of alternate approaches.

Having located the escape route, I was in the midst of gathering my things when the classroom lights dimmed and a video displaying a four foot honeybee danced across eyes.

worker2.62173233_std  As the teacher began lecturing and targeting specifics of this magnificent, finely tuned fur ball, I found myself once again bewitched. This foraging damsel displayed purity and innocence as she leisurely rummaged through the petals of a yellow coreopsis before gently lifting her body and hovering over a new blossom. Her backside drooped under the weight of the orange pollen clinging tightly to the saddlebags on her legs, but she landed as lightly as a feather that had been kissed by a baby’s breath.

I eased back into my seat and sighed. “Ok, I guess I can stay for a few more minutes.”

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Home Beeeet Home

To bee or not to bee was no longer the question. And as easily as I came to the conclusion that honey bees and I were a match, I also felt an affinity for top-bar hiving. If a Langstroth hive can be considered Victorian in nature, (multi-level, separate living areas) then a Top-bar hive would be a ranch-style abode (everything on one compact level.)  There would be no heavy laundry to transport up and down stairs, just honey laden combs that would move from one end to the other, causing less stress and strain on the occupants as well as the landlord. Yes, this approach suited me to a T!

So back to the holy grail (the internet, where else?) to explore yet another new world, “Beekeeping Suppliers.” There are some marvelous websites to pique your interest as well as confuse the hell out of you. Now, I cannot confirm that this is intentional, but as with reading the textbooks, I found that all of these beautifully designed sites complemented as well as negated one another.  “Cedar vs Pine.” “Flat cover vs peaked roof.” “Screened bottom board vs solid.” “Complete bee hazmat suit vs gloves only.” And that was just the beginning!

Drawing a cleansing breath, I contemplated my options, of which the sum was staggering and began whittling back to the core of what mattered. “Give the bees a home.” That had been my initial purpose, not commercial gain or prestige, but a safe harbor where they could have shelter from the elements and raise their babies in peace. If it all worked out and their honey production exceeded their requirements, it would be a miraculous bonus for me, not a mandatory obligation for the bees. “Give the bees the best home you can,” I reminded myself, “and we’ll all be winners.”

My home is cedar, so what better choice could I make for my bees? Cedar is naturally insect resistant and needs only to be tung oiled, not cosmetically coated. Because my house sports huge panoramic panes of glass, I chose an apex roofed hive with a full length observation window. The girls’ home was mirroring my own and I smiled at the reflection. I bought a hooded  jacket and gloves out of respect for the fact that bees do indeed sting, so why provide them a golden opportunity to pierce naked skin? And like a student preparing for a new school year, my pens, notebooks and backpack, transmogrified into a smoker, herding brush and hive tools.

It was October, too late to launch a new colony, but not too early to decide on a location. I walked and surveyed with a keen eye, the perimeters of my backyard, pondering the sun’s altitude at various times of the day as well as the direction and strength of the wind. “Here,” it seemed to whisper, “place the hive here.” And with a bit of awe, I surmised that the breeze was spot-on. This preordained setting had it all:  shade of hemlock and service berry trees , water from a nearby slithering creek and an eight foot tall bank of blackberry bushes to buffer the bees from blustery winter winds. “Boy, is this easy,” I smirked, getting just a little too full of myself. “Only an idiot could fail!”

Had I known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been quite so smug.

T OF T ###3  AN OPINION IS ONLY WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW.

 

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The Libeeeee-rary…A True Story

IMG_1652Everyone loves the library right? The library is the bees knees! It is open access to everything that has ever been written. Fiction, nonfiction, science fiction, and any other iction that you can dream up. There is no monetary requirement from your past, your present or your future. You can even go on line, give relevant information and acquire the use of a temporary card. Now, you must understand that this privilege and the card number allocated to you, will expire, if you don’t make a personal appearance at a local brick-and-mortar library within the compulsory 21 day “trial period.” This visit confirms that you are a county resident and smart enough to find the building.

I’ll tell you right up front that I NEVER use the library. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the library CONCEPT. It’s wholesome. It’s congenial. It’s free!  However, I PERSONALLY know my own limitations and understand that I am simply unable to conform.

By conform, I mean abide by their rule of, Thou shalt not borrow a book from the library unless you guarantee that you will return it within 21 days. I know, this seems like an uncomplicated request, but for me, it’s a prison sentence.

I BUY books. Not, unfortunately because I believe in the artist’s right to freedom of expression, or their inalienable right to earn a living. And it’s not that I’m rich and have more money than I know what to do with. It’s because, in all honesty, I’m too damn lazy to return the books on time! I will spend hundreds of dollars on books that I plan to read only once, because of the sheer fear that I might be charged a fifty cent late fee.

One day however, after noticing the feeble balance in my checking account, I decided that maybe it was time for me to join the ranks of “everyday” people. I was about to begin a new hobby and understood that I would need access to multiple sources of written information. “The Library” I told myself was the perfect place to start my quest for knowledge, with the perfect price tag to join. Nothing! If I just paid attention to the “due back by” dates, I would be safe.

So I conformed. I followed all of the guidelines and secured my very own library card. The first book on my list needed to be special ordered, but that was okay, because when it arrived, I saw that it was a beauty. The book was about Beekeeping and was fresh off the presses. Although this manuscript was considered a “paperback” it was of extremely high quality. Each luxurious page felt like poster board between my fingers as opposed to tissue paper on which most publishers mass produce.

“You understand our policy don’t you Mam?” was the flat interrogative delivered by the librarian that couldn’t possibly have been old enough to possess a drivers license.

“Yes, I believe I do,” I retorted. What did she think I was, a moron?

“Fine,” she added as she scanned the bar code and handed the publication over. “It must be returned no later than 21 days from today.”

“Geeshh, I got it,” I said under my breath. But what she heard was, “Thank you so much.”

I love new books, which is another reason why I buy them. This was a brand new copy. I was the first person to open it’s cover, smell it’s ink and turn it’s virginal pages. It was beautifully photographed and chock-full of well researched information. Reading each page was a delight. I carefully handled and respected this book that was not mine. I also kept a close eye on the calendar so as not to abuse my deadline. No way I was going to incur a fine.

One morning while sipping cappuccino in bed, I decided to give “Homegrown Honey Bees” one last read through. I was a little sad that our days together were numbered. The coffee in my cup had cooled before I was finished, so I set the book down and went into the kitchen to microwave the remainder. As I came back down the hallway, I could hear an unfamiliar rustling sound coming from my room. Getting nearer, I spied my cat Prissy clawing around in the covers, gnawing on something. Her head shot up like a bullet when she saw me and she quickly scurried off the bed.

“Holy Crap,” I yelled. “Prissy, what the hell have you done?” I rushed to the bedside where I found my precious, borrowed book with a mangled cover. My eyes flew open. “NO…. NOT MY LIBRARY BOOK!” But there it lay, wrinkled and damp with cat spit. Teeny tiny teeth pricks and irregular bite marks dotted it’s innocent, surface.

I grabbed it up and immediately tried to press the frayed parts back together. Since they were wet with saliva, this worked better than I thought it might. I laid the book on the bathroom counter, where I gently kneaded the picture of a semi disemboweled insect, trying to make it whole again. Next, I opened the linen closet, and using the steam iron as a paper weight, smacked it on top of the book and waited.

Several hours later, I returned to survey the result of my efforts. I held my breath as I lifted the iron. “Not bad,” I said somewhat relieved. The cat slobber had acted like glue and since I had gone into action so quickly, the damage had been minimal. With tremendous relief, I noted that no pages containing text had been vandalized. Feeling good about it’s overall appearance but willing to go the extra mile, I placed clear, packing tape along the outside and inside of the cover. Perfect!

Two days later, I drove the book back to it’s home, very impressed with myself for returning it within the legally allotted time frame. I glanced at it laying beside me on the passenger seat. Okay, you could see the shiny tape, but what borrowed library book doesn’t undergo a little wear-and-tear? “Just place it on the counter with all the other returnees,” I told myself. “No one will be the wiser.”

But the closer I got to the library, the more guilty I felt. I was pretty sure it would be no big deal, but I could not in good conscience, hide the fact that this book had been injured on my watch.

I backed the car into a parking space and gathering up my bruised friend, entered the hallowed domain. Working behind the desk was the same young woman that had checked me out weeks ago. We made eye contact as I approached and then very offhandedly she groused, “Just put it over there with those other books.” With that, she dismissed me and resumed her duties.

“I think I need to speak with you about something,” I said knowing that my mother would be proud. I couldn’t take advantage of the public library system and I was sure that I would be rewarded for my honesty. “I need you to look at this book, please. The cover got a smidge torn, but I’ve mended it. I just didn’t want you to think that I was trying to hide the damage.

She removed the book from my hand, gave it a cursory glance and then raised her eyes to meet mine. “You just bought this book Mam,” was her declaration. “It has been damaged beyond repair.” Then, like a general stripping a sergeant of his stripes, she began tearing off county stickers and scratching through bar codes. The final insult was to scribble black magic marker down the top, bottom and sides of the pages to make sure that everyone who laid eyes on it, would know that this book was “damaged goods.”

“That will be $14.99 plus a $3.00 processing fee,” she declared, “How do you want to pay?”

I shook my head and stared with my mouth agape at the book she had just defaced and abused far worse than I. Anteing-up, I once again thought of my mother and her honesty is the best policy belief. Are you watching Mom?

So I now OWN a bee book and here’s what I learned:

1. Borrowing a free book from the library can end up costing more than purchasing one from Amazon.com. (and that includes shipping and handling.)
2. Just because you return your book on time, doesn’t necessarily mean there won’t be a penalty.
AND

3. If you’re determined to borrow anyway and you own a cat that likes to eat paper, you better have your credit card nearby.

Posted in Bees, beginning a saga, cats, story starters, Uncategorized, writing | 1 Comment

Beeeezzzyyyy Peazzy!

Ok, so they are cute as hell…the bees. I mean anyone who could look at all of those photos and not think they were adorable would probably kick a puppy too. But having cute bees flying around inside my house, seemed inappropriate, so my next project was to search for lodging. We have all seen the dome shaped hive with one or two contented bees that decorates sugar bowls and honey jars. I was curious and eager to see what type of cottage my little critters might call home.

I returned to the internet (since it was easier than getting dressed and going to the library) where I found a plethora of information. I did not find miniature cherry colored bungalows or rustic log cabins, but I did discover that beekeeping dates back to the Egyptians where honey was considered the “elixir of the gods.” And although in those primitive days, hives were indeed domes of straw, honeybees also lived in dead trees, under rock ledges and occasionally in the walls of someone’s home. In 1852, an American clergyman (L.L. Langstroth) who had been studying bees his entire life, designed what is still today, considered the classic beekeeping system. This system typically combines three sets of boxes, each filled with 8-10 foundation filled frames, neatly stacked, one on top of the other.( Hmmmm, sounds like a condo not a cabana) Although the most popular form of housing, I further learned that these boxes needed to be periodically managed and that once filled with honey and bees, could weigh as much as 50 lbs. each. As if that weren’t daunting enough, should the bees flourish, (and why shouldn’t they?) more boxes could be added on top and this vertical skyscraper might expand to upwards of 100,000 bees…or more!

I was totally unprepared for this. Bees are cute, but 100,000 of them? Even a mere 50,000? I weigh less than a two month old baby horse. The idea of reaching over my head or lifting, on multiple occasions, boxes filled with anxious honeybees weighing half a much as myself seemed ill-conceived. I had not changed my mind, however I recognized a yellow caution light. I bought books. Many books; to peruse at my leisure, soak in information, gaze at pictures and see if I could read between the lines and ferret out an alternative.

During my studies, I stumbled on the term “top-bar hive” and two names, Michael Bush and W.A. Mangum, were given brief mention in my homegrown library. I returned to the internet for more details. These two gentlemen appeared to be a new breed. By this I mean that their research and ideas were a mere 50 years old, not 150. They were proposing sustainable beekeeping with an environmental perspective, not commercial. Their design and management system, while incorporating many of Langstroth’s principles, was also innovative. As opposed to a 4 or 5 foot stack of boxes, a top-bar hive is a single 4 or 5 foot horizontal box. Rather than 24-40 frames filled with artificial foundation, a TBH has 28-32 empty wooden bars that lay placidly across the top of the box, encouraging the bees to construct their own pure wax comb. There is no bending of knees, straining of backs, or dropping of boxes by the keeper with this system. “BRILLIANT.”…was the only word that came to mind. So I bought another book. “Top-Bar Beekeeping:Wisdom and Pleasure Combined.” Reading this book put roses on my cheeks and a smile on my face.

The housing issue became a moot point. It really had been an easy-peasy decision once I held the proper information in my hands. And with guidance from my new guru WAM, (as Dr. Mangum refers to himself) the second of my beekeeping quandaries was resolved and my learning about to become richer, like the roux for a savory gumbo…

Posted in beginning a saga, story starters, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments

The Idea of BBEEZZZ

Last August I fell in love with the idea of bees. I’ll admit that I had no concept of what that meant, but I will stand firmly behind my belief that it was not a yuppy whim. For whatever reason and propelled by God-knows-what, I instantly became determined to become a beekeeper.

Being totally naive and gullible as to my commitment, I turned to the internet, that mind boggling oasis where no question goes unanswered. Googling the word “bees” opened doors, windows and even portholes into a world I only superficially knew existed.

I began with pictures. There were thousands of magnified, colored photos that captured honeybees hovering like angels in mid flight, tiptoeing like tutued ballerinas across rainbow colored blossoms, waggling their furry little caramel colored behinds like gyrating Tahitian dancers.

I sat mesmerized as the delicate insects artistically displayed before me, captured my heart and my imagination. And I think the inherent beauty was, as with watching a stallion bullet across an empty plain,that these honeybees were not smiling for the camera or maintaining an artificial pose, they were simply doing, like wild horses, what comes naturally.

Though sometimes I believe that a smile crosses our lips and we know not why, that day I did. I was just beginning a love affair with my future mail-order brides.

T of T ###2   WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF SMILING FOR NO REASON..THERE IS.

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